Just the week before, I’d gotten a call from my endocrinologist with the results of my own fertility test. He’d said it was “highly unlikely” that I could father a child without medical help (namely shots of hormones FSH and LH). We’d already set an appointment for my wife’s fertility test. For that, she’d discontinued her birth control so that she’d have her “baseline” chemistry when the tests were done. We’d not made immediate plans to have kids, but we wanted to know where we both stood in regards to fertility.
One day, well before her fertility appointment, my wife told me she was feeling strange and that she thought she might be pregnant. I told her she was crazy. I said, “You heard the endocrinologist, right?” I told her it was likely a result of her recently dropping the birth control or something that was in her head. I was sure she couldn’t be pregnant.
A couple days later, my wife showed me the results of a home pregnancy test she’d just taken. Positive. I still doubted her. “Did you let it sit too long? They always default to positive with too much time.”
I put on some shoes and drove to the nearest drug store, where I picked up three different kinds of home pregnancy tests and brought them home. I had my wife immediately retest with all three. All three turned out positive. “I TOLD YOU!”, she said. I still actually had my doubts. I started thinking of what kinds of medical conditions could lead to a falsely positive reading on a home pregnancy test. I wondered about everything from ovary cysts to medication interactions to actual pregnancy, but I refused to take the message of just those four pregnancy tests as gospel.
I had my wife call her OBGYN immediately and ask to be seen that morning on a walk-in basis. After all, if she had a mass on an ovary, we needed it taken care of immediately. If there was a medication problem (she takes meds for Hashimoto’s thyroiditis) we’d want them changed. We needed to know what was going on. An ultrasound confirmed that my wife was right in the first place.
Wanting to make sure all was well, we kept the pregnancy a secret for the first trimester. We had tests performed and watched the ultrasounds. We waited it out. After three months, via ultrasound, we saw our daughter roll around and suck her thumb. All the tests came out clear. We started telling people.
In the meanwhile, our desire to find a bigger home than our one bedroom condo became a more pressing matter. We’ve had a lot to figure out in the past few months. What things do we both want in a new home? What do we both want to avoid? How are things that only one wants or doesn’t want to be compromised? Where do we want to live? What are the school systems like? What’s our budget like? What things are we going to have to compromise due to our budget?
Meanwhile, during the house hunting and maternity testing, both our cars needed major work, our washer broke and needed replaced, and our dog got sick. Anxious waits for lab tests, anxious reactions to mechanics’ reports, anxious appliance shopping, and anxious vet visits went along with tearful maternity clothes shopping trips, beer cravings satisfied with non-alcoholic brew, and meetings with bankers and CPAs. We’ve got to buy a house, figure out how to be landlords for our condo, and make sure our insurance policies are all in order. While we were at it with the CPA, figuring out the tax and legal implications of owning two properties, we decided we should get the rest of our grown-up life stuff tuned up… wills, investments, budget, etc. OH YEAH, and we’re having a baby! All of the sudden we’re in a rush to get our shit together. It’s like cramming for the biggest test in your life.
Currently, we’re halfway through the pregnancy, we still haven’t found the house yet, one of the cars is still in the shop, we have a new washer and dryer but now need a new dishwasher, the dog is in the “Cone of Shame,” and neither of us are sleeping enough. So, yeah, if you wonder why there hasn’t been a blog post in a while…