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The Latest Parenting Ramble

My first word, according to my own mother, was “shit”. Oddly, a number of times that she’s brought this up, I’ve noticed a tone that could insinuate it was my fault. As if, of my own volition, I disregarded “doggie” and “car” and “ball” and a bunch of other really common[…]

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More Dead Than Alive

December came without my even taking note. Twenty-seven years ago in December, my dad died. I was nineteen. The man has been dead 58% of my life. He was forty, so I’ve outlived him considerably, and I’m in better medical shape at forty-six than he was at thirty-six. As I[…]

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Them’s the Brakes

A year or so ago, the wife and I paid about four hundred bucks for some jokers at a shop to replace the brakes on our Mazda. The next day, the car was making a horrible noise, so we took it back. They claimed “defective brake pads” and replaced them[…]

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It goes by SO fast!

Just this weekend, I’ve noticed my kid doing things in a purposeful manner.  By that, I mean purposeful beyond trying to grab something and stick it in her mouth.  She’ll be ten months old in a few days, and she’s already just on the cusp of walking around on her[…]

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My Head Hates Me

I’ve had a cold for as long as I can remember.  I got it from my daughter.  Well, actually we share it, and lately there’s been enough to go around for her mommy too.  From what I can tell, my daughter’s made it the central focus of her life to[…]

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Empty Head Syndrome

My endocrinologist says I now have a condition called empty sella syndrome. It comes from having had a pituitary tumor that got reduced medically, leaving an empty space in my head where the tumor used to be. The “sellar bone” was worn away, plus the remaining pituitary is apparently squashed over[…]

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Perspective

All afternoon my daughter couldn’t seem to stop crying. Usually she manages a nap for an hour and a half or two hours, but today only managed to doze off for a couple of minutes before waking up in tears again. Not just tears, though, full-on wailing and screaming. I[…]

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Quirky

Handwritten items are a chore.  If I make a list and mess up my already messy handwriting too much, I’ll crumple the paper and start the list over.  If I make an error on a form, my first option instead of crossing out the error and carrying on is to[…]

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Who Am I?

Ten weeks ago my life changed more in one day than I could ever have imagined.  I’d love to elaborate on how much being a parent changes you, but so many others have already done that ad nauseam.  Suffice to say you really don’t know ’til it happens. This morning[…]

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People Hate New Parents

People hate new parents, it’s true.  Not all people, of course: The grandmothers don’t hate them, nor do pediatricians, of course the babies don’t hate them, and neither do other new parents.  The people who hate new parents might not even be in the majority, population-wise, but they’re out there[…]

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What a year so far!

Just the week before, I’d gotten a call from my endocrinologist with the results of my own fertility test.  He’d said it was “highly unlikely” that I could father a child without medical help (namely shots of hormones FSH and LH).  We’d already set an appointment for my wife’s fertility[…]

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Peeing on Dad

My dad would take marathon dumps.  The man would literally read on the toilet.  I’m not talking about Car and Driver or Reader’s Digest, I mean Lord of the Rings.  Sometimes he’d literally be there for an hour, not moving. You’d think the man would have learned to hydrate or[…]

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