For some time, I’ve been making “today’s tip” posts on Facebook. Some are my own, some are tips I’ve heard elsewhere, I think many are worth remembering, so I decided to make a public collection of them. I’m also elaborating on the ideas here.

I’ll add the new ones as I come up with them at the top of the list (so the older tips are at the bottom). Feel free to comment or add your own tips in the feedback section below!

• Call your mom.  If she’s not around, call someone else’s mom: Make a mom feel appreciated.  I wrote this on Mother’s Day, but it applies otherwise too…
• Unplug kitchen appliances you’re not using: Even when they’re not in use, they’re drawing electricity.  More importantly, if a kitchen appliance such as a toaster has an electrical malfunction, it can be a fire hazard, but not when it’s unplugged!
• You cannot teach those unwilling to learn: Anyone who has been around teenagers knows this one, for sure.
• The “strong and wrong” usually get a lot of traction over those who are right but restrained: This is how terrible dictators like Hitler and Mussolini come to power.
• It’s likely you take your problems far more seriously than anyone else: People are self-centered by nature.  They tend to worry about their own stuff over yours, unless of course your problems are affecting them.  Of course the opposite is true if you’re in major denial about something serious.
• Quick oil change places are worth the money for their convenience, but don’t let ‘em sell you any of the other overpriced crap they suggest while you’re there (air filters, power steering service, etc): Filters can be really easy to change.  Check an auto parts store for your brand and look up how to change it on the internet.  Get more complicated service done at a mechanic that doesn’t bump up the price (or the dealership if your warranty specifies you do so).
• Texting at a stoplight qualifies as texting while driving: Hey, dummy… while you were sending that message to your Twitter pals about how much you totally need coffee, you missed that the light had changed.
• “Best selling” doesn’t mean “best”: This is especially true with foods and electronics.
• Set goals you can actually accomplish: Otherwise, you’ll just constantly disappoint yourself.
• Your bluetooth earpiece is not a fashion statement: Take it off if you’re not using it.  You look like a dork.
• Saying “sorry” later is not an automatic means of making up for treating someone like shit: An apology doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve said or done something wrong.  It’s an extreme example, but wife beaters almost always apologize after beating the crap out of their woman.
• There is no “fat gene”: Nobody is genetically 300lbs.  The increased obesity rate is a recent phenomenon.  It has everything to do with less activity and more food.
• With most things, you pretty much get what you pay for… but by all means, shop around: All things being equal, there’s nothing wrong with saving a buck, and you should always make sure you’re not overpaying, but don’t opt for the cheaper version of something unless you’re sure it’s going to meet your needs.
• Everything in moderation, including moderation: Keep life interesting, but be responsible about it… although it’s OK to let loose every now and again and go overboard, but go overboard in moderation.  Yeah…
• “Front-load” the main idea of what you’re trying to say like a newpaper headline before getting into the details: Long explanations bore people.  Make your point up front and then go into the details.  That way, if your audience’s attention span drops off, you’ve already gotten your idea across.
• It’s easier to avoid gaining weight than to lose it after you’ve gained it: We’re talking fat here, of course.  Muscle is a different story.  A pound of body fat is 3500 calories.  A 175lb person needs to walk about 35 miles to lose a pound of body fat, about 3500 calories.  Consuming that many calories can be done in a single sitting at Olive Garden.
• Your HEALTH is the most important thing you can strive for. Without it, everything else in your life suffers: That’s where the saying “at least you have your health” comes from.  The base of the pyramid for Malow’s Hierarchy of Needs is “Pysiologic Needs,” meaning your health.  Once you’ve gotten that handled, you can move on to the other stuff.
• ALSO think INSIDE the box: Sometimes the normal, simple answers and tried and true solutions are the best.
• Be proactive: Does this really need further explanation?
• There is no “catching up on sleep.” You either get enough sleep or you don’t. It’s not like a savings account or something, where you can put it off ’til later: Sleep deprivation leads to slowed reaction times and decreased attention.  Also, lack of sleep affects you negatively on a cellular level.
• “Penultimate” doesn’t mean anything like “really ultimate,” it means something is second to last in a sequence. If you’re looking for a cool word for “ultimate, maybe you could try “quintessential”: Simple.  Try thesaurus.com if you need more help.
• Starbucks, WalMart, Google, Disney, Ford, eBay, Apple, and many other seemingly-unstoppable mega-businesses were all started by “average Joes” who wouldn’t give up on a good idea: A shame the people who would have created the teleportation machine, flying cars, and animal communication devices turned his back on his dreams.
• If you need help, get help: Such a simple idea, but most people don’t.
• Sometimes the version that’s “fat free” is much worse for you than the regular version: Fat tastes great.  Fat is why we love the smell of baked goods.  Removing the fat removes the tastes.  The taste often gets substituted by added salt and sugar.
• Exercise in the morning, when you have the energy to do it, not after work when you’re tired and all you want to do is crash: Many people have a lack of motivation once their butt makes contact with a couch cushion.
• Look up the words “literally” and “ironic”… if you’re one of those people who use these words incorrectly, please stop: “Ironic” is not synonymous with “unfortunate.”  Alanis has skewed your definition of this word.  As for “literally,” it’s in reference to something that actually happened. “I literally starved to death.”  Really?  How’d you type the message if you’re dead?
• EAT! Starving is not a means to healthy weight loss: Lack of caloric intake triggers your body to conserve stored energy by slowing down your metabolism.
• Do exercise you ENJOY, or at least don’t mind. If you hate the treadmill get off the damn thing and find another activity: We’re hard wired to avoid what we don’t like.
• If you think it might be junk food, it probably is: It’s pretty easy to spot.  Does it have a cartoon on the package?  Bright packaging?  Unrecognizable ingredients on the label?  Did it come from a place with a drive through?
• If you hold all people to all your standards all your days will be filled with disappointment: Every individual has a different set of personal standards (well, unless you’re in a cult or something).  Besides, your standards might not be so great anyway.
• That kid you see acting out, the one who’s making you think “why can’t those parents control that brat?”, might have something else going on: Self, explanatory.  Not everyone has your life experience.  The kid could be in a dysfunctional family, mentally challenged, or autistic.
• Use unique passwords for everything you do online and change them often: So many people use one password for everything.  If someone gets their email password, they’re onto their Facebook, their bank accounts, etc.  Another trick is to use a mix of letters, numbers, and punctuation characters.
• Lose arguments: Pick your battles, especially with loved ones.  Sure, there will be a few times you really need to stick to your guns, but I’d bet a majority of the times you’re arguing about something that matters very little in a “big scheme” way.
• Memorize something every day: Think of all the stuff you’ve forgotten… wouldn’t you like to at least keep up with that?  Every little bit helps.
• Never overstay your welcome: Houseguests and fish start to stink after three days.  Don’t be a stinky fish.
• Share ideas to make them happen: You’re not likely going to have the time or means to get to all those great ideas yourself anyway, yes?
• Learn how to tell a joke: …and then the priest says to the bartender… oh wait… lemme start over…
• It’s not that hard to find someone to support your point of view… but that doesn’t mean you’re right: So many examples…
• In most cases, there is absolutely nothing wrong with drinking tap water, and the money you’d spend on the bottled stuff is better spent elsewhere: Often times bottle water is nothing more than municipal water in a pretty package anyway.
• Make a back-up of the data in your phone: There was a time when everyone memorized important phone numbers.  Yeah, I know… that time’s gone forever.  But hey, it sucks to lose all the data in your phone.  If you have a smartphone, be smart and back it up on your computer.  If you have a dumb phone, use a pen and paper, dummy.
• Leave work at work: Unless of course you work for a winery or a candy store or a Ferrari dealership, that is…
• Always put your keys, cell phone, and wallet/purse in the same place. It avoids so much wasted time: ‘Nuff said.
• If you aren’t at least a little sore, you didn’t really work out: Enough said.  There is no way to “lounge” your way to fitness no matter what the late night infomercials say.  Push yourself.  Use it or lose it.
• The fact that someone does something “professionally,” even with much experience, does not mean they’re good at what they do: If you think the mechanic who just gave you an estimate on your car is an idiot or a ripoff artist, take the car elsewhere.  If you don’t like your doctor, get another opinion.  When you’re hiring someone for plumbing or photography, get references and ask for examples of their work.
• When in doubt, shut up and listen: Most people just sit and wait for their turn to start yapping again, only thinking about the next thing they have to say.  Those people miss a lot.  Yep, I do this too, sometimes… OK, more than sometimes…
• Think about your complaints before stating them: Maybe you have a whole grocery list of stuff to bitch about.  Is it all of equal importance?  Probably not.  Is there some stuff you could let go?  Probably.  Could it be that you could let all of it go?  Maybe.
• Content is king. Context is god: Easy enough, yes?
• Crazy people always feel justified in their actions: Enough said.
• Take advice, but go with your gut: If the advice seems reasonable, go with it.  If not, instinct is always pretty good.  Instinct is why we’re still here.  Neanderthals didn’t trust their gut enough.
• An apology is not equal in effect to not having done something in the first place: You were an asshole.  You realized you were an asshole.  You apologized emphatically.  Great, but you were still an asshole.
• If you feel like you SHOULD say “no,” say no. If you feel like you should say yes, say yes: Simple, yes?  Just trust your gut.
• Learn how to detect bullshit: Do I really need to give an example here?  I know you’ve been majorly duped in the past, we all have.  Fool me once, shame on me…
• If you suck at parallel parking, you’re in the majority… Make yourself part of the minority: How many times have you skipped a great parking space, or worse yet, made a complete ass of yourself backing up and pulling forward over and over because you can’t parallel park?  Practice makes perfect.  Eventually, you can repaint that bumper of yours!
• If you don’t know how to drive a stick-shift, learn. It could literally save a life someday: Picture this, you’re on a hiking getaway with a great new boyfriend or girlfriend.  You got there in your dates great new sports car.  Unfortunately, he falls over a ledge and breaks both ankles.  You’re miles from the nearest town, you’ve got no cell signal, and you haven’t seen another human in hours.  You need to drive out of there, but you don’t know how to drive a six-speed!  Yikes!  Don’t let something like this happen.  Surely you know someone with a manual transmission… if not, take a class.
• Nutrition bars are just candy with a different marketing plan: Most “nutrition bars” are just processed sugar in a sporty package.  Regardless of any added protein or vitamins, they basically just make you fat unless you’re really working out.  As for the bars meant as a “meal replacement,” it would be better just to eat a healthier meal than to replace that meal with candy.  For vitamins and protein, eat some fruit and have some eggs for breakfast.
• Caffeine, like alcohol or pot, is a drug for grownups… Don’t drug your kids: Smaller kids are usually already all over the place as it is, they don’t need stimulants on top of that.  Also, caffeine does wonky things to your pancreas and insulin levels that lead to cravings for sugar, which leads to an increased likelihood of obesity.   There’s surely something better for the kids than soda and they can’t wait ’til college for the coffee.
• Saying something intelligent isn’t nearly as effective as saying something intelligently: No-one likes a smartass.  Also, no-one likes a bad teacher, especially when they can’t articulate an idea effectively.  Make a point of making your points understood.
• The first step to doing something is believing you can: When I was a teenager I had a rock band.  When we formed, none of us knew how to organize a practice session, how to book a gig, or even how to play our damned instruments (I’m NOT exaggerating here).  No-one ever stood in our way and we were convinced we were going to start playing parties, shows, and dances.  We did.  We all learned our instruments (except the keyboard player we added, who did know how to play and still plays professionally).  We booked gigs.  We had fun.  I believe it was largely ’cause no-one told us it was a crazy idea.
• A perfect memory is not as good as an organized mind: Some say Einstein had a closet full of the same outfit so he wouldn’t have to think about what to wear every day.  It isn’t true, but what a great concept, huh?  Occupy your mind with the necessities and forget the other stuff… “declutter” your brain.  Also, stay on track, etc… This is one I could work on myself, ’cause my mind gets very disorganized at times.  Wait.  What were we talking about?
• The people speaking that foreign language aren’t talking about you… unless you’re an asshole… or totally hot… then they definitely are: Paranoia over foreign language speakers is too common and very silly.  You’re very likely not interesting enough to be the subject of their conversation unless, like I said, you’re hot or you’re an asshole.  If you’re hot, well, be happy you’re hot.  You should be used to people talking about you anyway.  If you’re an asshole, well, you deserve to be talked about, yes?  If you really must know if you’re being talked about, learning the language’s pejoratives is a good place to start.
• Yes, the tortoise won… but the rabbit COULD have won if he weren’t such a slacker: Two sides to this one; don’t get cocky vs. don’t give up.  Just ’cause you’re fast like a rabbit doesn’t mean you should count on being able to finish first and slack off in the meanwhile.  After all, shit happens.  If you’re the tortoise, don’t give up ’cause that rabbit might just be napping on the job!
• An organic donut is still a donut: Sugar is sugar.  Fat is fat.  Junk food is junk food.  Feel good that you just ate something made from whole wheat flour and cane syrup if you want, it’s still going to turn into love handles.
• Telling the truth is always the easiest option: Tell a lie and you’ll likely have to tell another lie to cover the gaps in your story… worse yet, you’ll have to ask other people to lie or you’ll have to lie to those other people.  When it all comes out in the open, it’s usually ugly and problematic.
• Learn to cook… actual food, not that stuff you’re throwing in the microwave: It’s usually healthier to cook from raw ingredients, it’s impressive if done correctly, and you might get yourself out of an awkward jam if you get snowed in and all you have in the house is hamburger meat, noodles, and marinara sauce.
• Google “greengrocer’s apostrophe.” Apply your new-found knowledge to your own written communication appropriately: There’s a coffee shop near where I live where every plural on their signage has an apostrophe:  “Bagel’s”… “Sandwich’s”… “Donut’s”…  Apostrophes are for contractions and to show ownership, as in “the dog’s collar.”  No plural needs an apostrophe unless it’s to show ownership, and in that case, the apostrophe usually goes after the “s”.  “The dogs’ collars.”
• Staying mad at people who are long-gone serves no useful purpose: If someone can hear you bitch, your bitching is pointless (not that bitching at someone is always a great idea).  This is especially true if that person is dead.  Get past it.
• To be loved unconditionally, you have to love unconditionally: Really, this fits right along with the whole “do unto others” train of though.  If you’re going to hold conditions against other people, expecting them to filter through your “deal breakers” and such, you’ve got to expect them to treat you likewise.
• Avoid restaurants with a drive-through: Starbucks, McDonalds, Taco Bell, and the like are fast and convenient, but aren’t known for serving the healthiest menus.  I’ll admit I hit Starbucks and In-n-Out every now and again, but I don’t make them my first choice for a meal.  There was a day when a cafe mocha was a treat, not a daily routine.